Tuesday, October 30, 2007

The Man Laws of Triathlon

So, picture the scene... myself and a handful of tribuddies were hanging out over the weekend when somebody laid down a list of Man Laws. Now, I'm sure he found them on the internets somewheres, and after a bit of editing to make them 'Boomer Blog Worthy, I submit them for your approval.

Of course this list isn't complete without your input, fellas. Feel free to leave a comment with your additions to the list of Man Laws of Triathlon and I'll compile them in a future post.

Not be sexist, because we all know I'm just not that way, I invite all of the ladies of the 'BoomerNation to submit your Lady Laws of Triathlon.

Can't wait to see what y'all come up with. So, without any further delay here are the Man Laws of Triathlon (so far):

Man Law says it is okay to shave your legs, just not with one of your significant other's pink disposable razors.

Man Law says it is not okay to talk with your buddies about your sore nipples unless running is the topic of conversation.

Man Law says it is okay to pee in your wetsuit.

Man Law says it is not okay to pee in your buddy's wetsuit.

Man Law says that if you swim, bike and run all in one day, you deserve a burger, fries, a beer and onion rings.

Man Law says that you always shake hands with your buddies before lubing up or going to the porta potty.

Man Law says that after emerging from a Porta Potty or lubing up, a head nod "wazzup" as acknowledgement is just fine.

Man Law says one hug per buddy, per race finish... as long as it's just a shoulder hug. (No limits on high-fives and headbutts.)

Man Law says it's never okay to out sprint your significant other at the end of the race. Unless, of course, you have yet to inform her that she is no longer your significant other.

Man Law says it is not okay to bring the Sunday newspaper into the porta potty with you on race morning.

Man Law says it is not okay to bring your own lock to the race site the day before and claim one of the porta potties as your own.

Man Law says no baskets, no rear view mirrors, no reflectors, no kickstands. Ever.

Man Law says Pink bikes are okay for Barbie, not for you.

Man Law says that if you put a triple on the front of your road bike, your bike best be pink amd your name is Barbie, or you're racing Wildflower or St. Croix 70.3 triathlons.

Stay tuned...


Lance Notstrong said...

Awesome!!! :-)

greyhound said...

Man law: Drafting is a crime. Drafting behind a dude is an abomination. Drafting behind a chick will be penalized, but extenuating circumstances will be considered if she's hawt.

Brent Buckner said...

Good rules!

Inappropriate use of an article: should not be "fries, a beer, and onion rings", should be "fries, beer, and onion rings".

Rainmaker said...

"Man Law says it's never okay to out sprint your significant other at the end of the race. Unless, of course, you have yet to inform her that she is no longer your significant other."

Opps...I kinda might have broken this one at a Marathon last year. And now I'm single...doh.

Jameson said...

Man law says you can rock the Speedo while racing or at the pool while training, but don't bother bringing it to the beach or to lounge around the pool deck.

Bigun said...

Man law says that real men don't worry if the Man Laws are sexist.

Man law says that when passed by a uber-fast, uber-hawt Lady triathlete, it's ok to draft for like 10-15 seconds, if you can.

Man law says it's ok, no, manditory to alert your buddy up ahead with a loud whistle or yell once you are out of said lady biker's draft zone, so that your buddy doesn't miss an opportunity.

Nancy Toby said...

Can't help you here, Boomer, but I can see I need to write some Chick Laws.

Cindy Jo said...

I second the one about St. Croix. The second time I raced there I put a triple on my bike and didn't have to walk up the beast! (And that was long before I had my pink bike.)

Ellie Hamilton said...

St. Croix.... or SavageMan, the newest toughest road tri in the world.


tri.bassett said...

I think we need a ruling on the pink bike issue:


I'm pretty sure that Spencer is a man, and a tough-ass competitor...

don said...

True Men don't worry about the colour of their razors or bikes or what other men are wearing.

That guy that did Ironman Canada riding a fixie while wearing a dress. Man Law says that wan one tough man.

Man Law says that triathlon is an inclusive sport, one that welcomes all men and women.

Jade Lady said...

Some posts never lose their fancy - and this one is one of them - man laws... That's what I love about men. They have these funny rules. Especially that last one - I still don't understand why men can't own pink bikes with triples on them!